06 OCT 2014 II

So I've been thinking ...

I need a brief checklist of things to simply stay away from.
And I need to frame them in such a way that I trust the list.

Maybe it should be a list of one item: computer games.
Or as they used to be called: video games.

The old man would have me value and actively participate in the items on the list.
And, ironically, the immediate impact of acting those out isn't negative.
It's actually quite positive - I am making progress on something I value.

The problem is that none of the items on this list matter outside of the list.

The thing I'm forgetting, that the old man never realized, is that even these are sinful.

I used to think of sin as items whose only side effect was to dishonor God.
Simply anything that wasn't aligned with His heart was sinful.
Which made it easy to identify (roughly) but hard to care about.
Because, even though I love God ... I was raised to love and not respect people.
So, to respect someone, I have to mindfully do it - or I forget.
And so I forget to honor God.

But another consequence of sin is loneliness.
Most of the time, it is painful to talk about things we consider a sin.

Simply sharing a sin, because we consider it a wrongness, does make it less a sin.
It makes us feel more guilty.

So when I choose distraction (gaming or otherwise) instead of proper things, like work, sleep, chores, etc - it results in me wanting to engage in the same distraction.  Because I don't want to be held accountable and so don't want to have to explain why I was engaging in distraction.

Which all boils down to the list.

What should go on the list that I will simply refuse to do?
We're talking an unconditional list - something that doesn't have treats or rewards, and isn't simply things I'm "quitting" until some later time.

I want to put computer games on the list ... and have to wonder if this applies, as long as their not games I personally built; but then, perhaps I shouldn't build them either.

.. It's not like I've ever been paid for it and I haven't done it enough to be great.

So ...

Day 1: No more computer games.