So I've been thinking ...
I need a brief checklist of things to simply stay away from.
And I need to frame them in such a way that I trust the list.
Maybe it should be a list of one item: computer games.
Or as they used to be called: video games.
The old man would have me value and actively participate in the items on the list.
And, ironically, the immediate impact of acting those out isn't negative.
It's actually quite positive - I am making progress on something I value.
The problem is that none of the items on this list matter outside of the list.
The thing I'm forgetting, that the old man never realized, is that even these are sinful.
I used to think of sin as items whose only side effect was to dishonor God.
Simply anything that wasn't aligned with His heart was sinful.
Which made it easy to identify (roughly) but hard to care about.
Because, even though I love God ... I was raised to love and not respect people.
So, to respect someone, I have to mindfully do it - or I forget.
And so I forget to honor God.
But another consequence of sin is loneliness.
Most of the time, it is painful to talk about things we consider a sin.
Simply sharing a sin, because we consider it a wrongness, does make it less a sin.
It makes us feel more guilty.
So when I choose distraction (gaming or otherwise) instead of proper things, like work, sleep, chores, etc - it results in me wanting to engage in the same distraction. Because I don't want to be held accountable and so don't want to have to explain why I was engaging in distraction.
Which all boils down to the list.
What should go on the list that I will simply refuse to do?
We're talking an unconditional list - something that doesn't have treats or rewards, and isn't simply things I'm "quitting" until some later time.
I want to put computer games on the list ... and have to wonder if this applies, as long as their not games I personally built; but then, perhaps I shouldn't build them either.
.. It's not like I've ever been paid for it and I haven't done it enough to be great.
So ...
Day 1: No more computer games.
Monday, October 6, 2014
06 OCT 2014
This weekend was intended to be catch-up.
Which is foolish, a #noobMistake, because it is also shipwreck-weekend.
So it's 1:30 ante-meridian, and I've been encouraging myself to take one-more-nap since the minions were tucked; and I finally realize I've been #spirituallySuckerPunched. Because there's been a small, ever-so-quiet tape running in my head all weekend, suggesting the next-best-thing.
And I recognize the tape - it's a favorite tune, to be sure. It encourages all sorts of naughtiness that always, in the long run, bears a hole.
I haven't killed a man, wrecked havoc on a farm, or caused damage to property.
But I've overslept and overspent.
I've used weariness as justification for bad eating and worse: binging.
And I've used general tiredness as reiteration validation.
I've chosen video games over chores (some got done, more could have been completed).
I've quit on chores which were "relatively" necessary in favor of the quick-fix.
And I believe pride has gotten in the way of fixing something.
I certainly tried - but we're talking electrical.
Mostly I'm tired all the time.
I can't tell if this is an abnormal thing, something I'm simply supposed to get used to.
So many things we take for granted go away as we get older.
Likewise, some things are consequences of choices.
And, some things are still a third category - simply our dealt hand.
Lastly, some ... discomforts indicate an appetite.
And I am uncertain if my weariness is of the first three or the fourth.
Perhaps a mixture.
Which is foolish, a #noobMistake, because it is also shipwreck-weekend.
So it's 1:30 ante-meridian, and I've been encouraging myself to take one-more-nap since the minions were tucked; and I finally realize I've been #spirituallySuckerPunched. Because there's been a small, ever-so-quiet tape running in my head all weekend, suggesting the next-best-thing.
And I recognize the tape - it's a favorite tune, to be sure. It encourages all sorts of naughtiness that always, in the long run, bears a hole.
I haven't killed a man, wrecked havoc on a farm, or caused damage to property.
But I've overslept and overspent.
I've used weariness as justification for bad eating and worse: binging.
And I've used general tiredness as reiteration validation.
I've chosen video games over chores (some got done, more could have been completed).
I've quit on chores which were "relatively" necessary in favor of the quick-fix.
And I believe pride has gotten in the way of fixing something.
I certainly tried - but we're talking electrical.
Mostly I'm tired all the time.
I can't tell if this is an abnormal thing, something I'm simply supposed to get used to.
So many things we take for granted go away as we get older.
Likewise, some things are consequences of choices.
And, some things are still a third category - simply our dealt hand.
Lastly, some ... discomforts indicate an appetite.
And I am uncertain if my weariness is of the first three or the fourth.
Perhaps a mixture.
Wednesday, October 1, 2014
what is
So the presumptions ...
The first centers around the concept of an "old man". The Bible makes mention of an old man - the archetypal metaphorical portmanteau of "what we once were" as well as the whisperings of the flesh. The basic idea is that our personalized copy of a death-centric persona was given to us upon birth and Christians have the option, once (and because of being) born again, to follow a different route. Outside of the second coming, there will still be a death - but, in the case of following the second route, there will not be a loss of the presence of God.
The second idea focuses on the idea that we never really get rid of the old man. Perhaps that is a good thing - it reminds us that only with genuine humility do we ever achieve daily success in following Christ. It is too, too easy to rely upon past successes or habits as a way of "guaranteeing" a connection of Christ. As a result, if we didn't have a daily reminder of our choice, we'd quickly lose sight of our goal as well as the fact that it takes a daily choice to get there.
The third idea is intended to address the notion that there are always three voices at work - our "old man", our "saved" man, and any/all daemonic inclusion. In brief, the idea is that Christians, once saved, will intention to follow the "straight and narrow". This is already a challenge in itself (sometimes it is simply difficult to know which way to turn - or if the correct path is to simply wait / wait in place). However, it is more difficult when you've got other "guidance". The first false guidance is from the "old man"; anything he says will tend toward death - it is his nature. As a result, most of the time, simply doing what he says bad on principle. The trick is that it is often the most immediately desirous thing; this is why it is important to be on the lookout. The second false guidance is from "other"; this is what is meant by "satanic" in this context - the basic premise that some spiritual entity, other than that given by God, is intending your path to be destructive in some sense; this isn't a subsumption or possession kind-of-thing. This is where you feel compelled to do something you know is wrong, or strongly encouraged to act non-sweetly, or simply need to be mean. Examples clearly include murder and rape; they would also include gossip, retaliation, over-eating, etc.
My claim is that the old man is really the set of habits established in the flesh before being saved; as such, they are a passive aggregation of the spiritual attacks and negative encouragements provided before being saved. And that the old man is a form of attack that isn't recognized as an attack because we often simply define it as our "undesirable self" - kind of like the black sheep of our internal family.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Given the above, then - this is intended as a blog
The tendency will be to see the old man as a modern counterpart to Jesus; this is because we are always most interested and most comfortable with legacy decisions. You pick "left" often enough and eventually "left" feels the the correct path - regardless of new information.
The first centers around the concept of an "old man". The Bible makes mention of an old man - the archetypal metaphorical portmanteau of "what we once were" as well as the whisperings of the flesh. The basic idea is that our personalized copy of a death-centric persona was given to us upon birth and Christians have the option, once (and because of being) born again, to follow a different route. Outside of the second coming, there will still be a death - but, in the case of following the second route, there will not be a loss of the presence of God.
The second idea focuses on the idea that we never really get rid of the old man. Perhaps that is a good thing - it reminds us that only with genuine humility do we ever achieve daily success in following Christ. It is too, too easy to rely upon past successes or habits as a way of "guaranteeing" a connection of Christ. As a result, if we didn't have a daily reminder of our choice, we'd quickly lose sight of our goal as well as the fact that it takes a daily choice to get there.
The third idea is intended to address the notion that there are always three voices at work - our "old man", our "saved" man, and any/all daemonic inclusion. In brief, the idea is that Christians, once saved, will intention to follow the "straight and narrow". This is already a challenge in itself (sometimes it is simply difficult to know which way to turn - or if the correct path is to simply wait / wait in place). However, it is more difficult when you've got other "guidance". The first false guidance is from the "old man"; anything he says will tend toward death - it is his nature. As a result, most of the time, simply doing what he says bad on principle. The trick is that it is often the most immediately desirous thing; this is why it is important to be on the lookout. The second false guidance is from "other"; this is what is meant by "satanic" in this context - the basic premise that some spiritual entity, other than that given by God, is intending your path to be destructive in some sense; this isn't a subsumption or possession kind-of-thing. This is where you feel compelled to do something you know is wrong, or strongly encouraged to act non-sweetly, or simply need to be mean. Examples clearly include murder and rape; they would also include gossip, retaliation, over-eating, etc.
My claim is that the old man is really the set of habits established in the flesh before being saved; as such, they are a passive aggregation of the spiritual attacks and negative encouragements provided before being saved. And that the old man is a form of attack that isn't recognized as an attack because we often simply define it as our "undesirable self" - kind of like the black sheep of our internal family.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Given the above, then - this is intended as a blog
The tendency will be to see the old man as a modern counterpart to Jesus; this is because we are always most interested and most comfortable with legacy decisions. You pick "left" often enough and eventually "left" feels the the correct path - regardless of new information.
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